Nutrition Humor
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South Pole Beach Diet: Simply go to the
South Pole (be sure to pack a warm parka,
some mittens and a 14-inch, whale-flaying
knife). Upon arrival, set up your insulated
tent on the beach at Point Barrow and just
shiver those calories away. Every two months,
hunt and kill a small baleen whale. Enjoy.
Fear Factor Diet: Allow yourself nothing but
maggots and goat entrails for two weeks. You
may eat a little the first day, but studies show
your appetite will quickly fade.
Broken Jaw Diet: Simply suffer a broken jaw
and have a qualified physician wire your
mandible shut. Then utilize an ordinary
household straw to consume your meals.
Repeat as necessary.
Staple-Gunectomy: Simply press the loaded
staple gun against your abdomen, fix your
face in a determined grimace, and fire away.
Five or six staples will usually do the trick.
South Pole (be sure to pack a warm parka,
some mittens and a 14-inch, whale-flaying
knife). Upon arrival, set up your insulated
tent on the beach at Point Barrow and just
shiver those calories away. Every two months,
hunt and kill a small baleen whale. Enjoy.
Fear Factor Diet: Allow yourself nothing but
maggots and goat entrails for two weeks. You
may eat a little the first day, but studies show
your appetite will quickly fade.
Broken Jaw Diet: Simply suffer a broken jaw
and have a qualified physician wire your
mandible shut. Then utilize an ordinary
household straw to consume your meals.
Repeat as necessary.
Staple-Gunectomy: Simply press the loaded
staple gun against your abdomen, fix your
face in a determined grimace, and fire away.
Five or six staples will usually do the trick.
